Avani (avani) wrote,

Big Decision

After much agonizing soul-searching, I'm going back to grad school in the fall. I'm going to give it my all this time, which I think will be easier, now, that I've picked it over this awesome job intentionally.

My awesome host L helped a lot with my decision, and he seems pretty optimistic that I can come back here someday. The main reason I think I was worried about leaving was the "foot in the door" phenomenon. Last night, I ran into the woman who has been my role model since my freshmen year of college. She holds a PhD (and a masters in a different field!), but she told me that I should put school on hold and go full time, for the sake of getting a foot in the door at this awesome company. It is breaking my heart to go against her advice, especially with all of the other reasons I have to stay, but I'm just not quite ready to give up on academia. She was really happy that I had made it in to a place like this, but I don't think that by leaving now, I'm really letting that go. At least, I hope not. I really hope I won't live to regret this: I'm already going to miss living with my husband, my cat, having a great work environment, seeing friends, having nearby interesting things to do, the ocean...so many good things here... in the short term enough as it is. I'm going to go blast through UNM and put it behind me forever, and go to my next stop in life with a clear conscience.

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