Dear Marvell (aka SysKonnect) ,
I would like to thank you for pointing out to me that Linux is a royal pain in the ass. In fact, I think your efforts to make a network adapter that modern Linux can't use without painstaking levels of research and a passing fair knowledge of German are nothing short of genius. Thank you, also, for giving me the opportunity to play the exciting game of "here's a driver from the same manufacterer as the one that happened to work for an older model of this motherboard with a different kernel". You have provided me with endless hours of activity and kept me from wasting my copious amounts of free time on extravagances like updating my operating system.
In light of all your kindness, I feel like I should do something for you? Is there anything you need? Would you like me to go slaughter orphans and then salt the ground over their graves? Oh, you prefer to do that sort of thing yourself? How about delegating the little things... how about if I go into the store and punch every kid I see picking up a Debian box. That make you happy? Great. Its settled then.
(problem is fixed now, so please, no comments about "Google says you should do this this and this". I did this this and that, and then gave up and installed Ubuntu (Edgy Eft) and everything worked.)